Observation, you say? I mean, after more than three years of nothing you choose to call your post observation? really? why not, back from the dead? or blog loser? something that has a much truer ring to it? Well, I tell you why not.....cause it's my blog and I get to. Not to mention it describes my life as of late.
I learned something about myself tonight and I am now taking this moment of observation to see what I can learn from it. I mean, I always knew this about me, but tonight a dear friend pointed it out to me which made me see it in a new light. I don't even really know how to say this......but I have FOMO! I know, I was just as surprised when I found out, but alas it is something I have to deal with.
What is FOMO, you ask? It stands for Fear Of Missing Out. It's true. I HATE not being a part of something. I have been this way my entire life. I was the kid that wouldn't go to be no matter how tired she was because something super exciting might happen between the hours of 10pm - 8am. Well, when you are five you probably shouldn't be involved in anything happening between those hours anyway, but somehow that didn't matter to me. What if my best friend comes over and wants to play? What if mom makes hot chocolate and I don't get any? This problem continued into my teens where during the hours of 12am - 7am the questions morphed into: What if my best friend comes over and wants to hang out? What if mom wants me to drive to the store because she wants hot chocolate and we are out? Let's be honest, we were and are never out of hot chocolate at my house, but what if?
This really hasn't changed no matter what has been happening in my life. I am now a double college graduate, working full-time in the real world, living the ultimate singles life, and choosing my own schedule. Why does this problem still plague me? Even today I found myself stressing out about missing something fun for a completely legitimate reason and even now as I am writing this I am trying to figure out how to make it all work. Why can't I just let go? Why can't I be okay with the decisions made? I chose to do this fun thing and it's okay that you were not part of that fun thing. It isn't just a fleeting moment of "oh shoot, that sounds like you had a great time." It is literally a pang of regret. I have a different life than everyone else. I do different things. I have different opportunities. And yet, I still find myself asking the question: "WHY CAN'T I DO ALL THE THINGS?!?!!"
Really on some subconscious level (lie: 100% conscious) I am writing this blog because I might miss out on the blog fun if I don't. I have a problem. Sleep seems to be the thing that suffers the most, but also my friends, family and my sanity as I try to run from one end of the valley to the other just to make it to twenty minutes of game night. I enjoy being busy and running from day to day (the running was literal today), but I think I need to figure out how to better handle this FOMO I am dealing with and change my current questions during the hours of 2am - 8am from: What if my best friend wants to text me with something important to say? And what if my mom were awake and I made her homemade chocolate which I would then shave and melt into a glorious cup of perfection with a dash of nutmeg on top? to: What if I relaxed and lived in the moment I am actually in? And what the hell am I still doing up?
I have a problem.
Monday, August 24, 2009
They say that pictures are worth a thousand words. Well if that is true, I believe that I just wrote my master's thesis. I am apparently not very good about staying updated on this whole blogging thing. I worked all summer at an architecture firm and got to play just a little bit. For those of you that don't know, school started today. That means that my life now become preoccupied with school and therefore things like blogging fall to the wayside. So I decided to give all of you a photo montage of some of the fun things that I got to do this summer. There are a lot of photos and multiple posts so be prepared! I am not joking about this. This may never happen again!
Last week I got to go spend some time in Texas with my sister, brother-in-law, and ADORABLE niece! It was so fun! Humid, but fun. We hung out at the beach and went to some great art museums. We also ate a TON of food. I have now found my favorite restaurant! CHUY'S! Too bad its in Houston. Most of the time I spent playing with Audrey, reading books, and just listening to the funny things she says. I love being an Aunt! I couldn't find a better job anywhere on the planet. Thanks for letting me come invade your home for a bit, Brekke!
Matt had been up for 26 hours when we decided to drag him to the beach. Poor hard working Doctor! He did have a great sunburn after this little nap.
This is the 1930's model that I found at the beach....oh wait, no its not! Thats just my gorgeous sister in her oh so flattering swimsuit!
Momma and Baby
Audrey loved the water!
This is her impersonation of a flamingo! Gotta love it!
She also figured out the fun of body surfing, but did like the salt in her eyes so much.
Awesome sculpture outside the Glassell School of Art
I don't know if anyone knows this, but I am obsessed with churches!
Museum of Fine Arts Houston
Taken from a Costco parking lot
My friend called me one day and told me to get ready cause we were going on a spontaneous adventure! So I did and this is where we went! Spiral Jetty! Oh the hidden treasures of Utah!
For the 4th of July, my family traditionally attends the Oakley rodeo. I am a little cowgirl at heart and I LOVE this traadition. This year Meggie came with us and we had a blast. Later that month we went to the cabin again and spent most of our time moose watching. It was great!